Day 33 - Thank Allah For Kendra, Ricky Gervais & Some Blinding Luck

Author - Grant
Miles Driven – 210
From – Pittsburgh (PA)
To – Harrisburg (PA)

Today's Photos - http://www.flickr.com/photos/32017704@N03/sets/72157610948801613/

At about 3pm on day 33 it was looking like today’s blog entry was going to be fairly short and equally dull. I guess not every day can be filled with exciting new experiences or incredible drives. Indeed, some days we just need to get in the car, hit the highway and grind out some miles. We’ve got a couple of days to get to Philly which is about 320 miles due East of Pittsburgh which might represent a few hours work to normal people but we have a developed a real old person’s attitude towards such things so even having 48 hours seems like a bit of a rush. As such, we randomly picked Harrisburg as a decent sized destination between Pittsburgh and Philly where we could rest our heads and mentally prepare for the monstrous remaining drive the following day.

The drive was all highway (no scenic drives through central Pennsylvania unfortunately) but we were suitably entertained, hovering along at a meagre 65 mph courtesy of Kendra Cruise Control, by the Ricky Gervais podcasts that we have downloaded the previous day. Hilarious stuff and I can foresee Monkey News keeping us entertained for many drives to come. So as you can see, by 3pm I have absolutely no news of interest to report but this also represents the time when a bit of fattie good luck kicked in. Whilst browsing through one of the local maps of the Harrisburg district, Kate noticed our proximity to a little town called Hershey. That couldn’t be the same Hershey that makes the biggest selling confectionary goods in North America could it? You bet your morbidly obese ass it is! I feel a factory tour coming on..

Approximately seven minutes later we entered Hershey’s Chocolate World and tried to work out the most efficient way to get as much free chocolate as possible in the shortest amount of time. Now being one of god’s chosen few (i.e. being British), I have been spoilt by a childhood of Cadbury’s which is the finest mass produced chocolate on the planet that I have encountered so far and I have a pretty negative opinion of Hershey’s, especially the kisses which I think are pretty chalky and have a slight taste of baby vomit about them – an unintentional side-effect I assume. Reece’s Pieces, however, have been sent from above to remind us exactly what awaits us in heaven so imagine my happiness to find out that Hershey’s also make these little nuggets of glory.

First on the agenda was the factory tour which was more like a Disney ride than an informative, educational experience. If the roller-coaster didn’t first arouse your suspicion this was going to be aimed at the under five’s, then the singing cows waiting round the first bend certainly hammered it home. Still, two free chocolates at the end of this tour so every cloud etc. Next we signed up for the 3D Hershey’s history show and luckily we had 30 mins to kill before it began. Hmmm, what to do, what to do? Why, buy and eat copious amounts of chocolate in various forms of course. Unbelievably the movie theatre at Hershey’s is a no eating zone (are they mental?) and I’m sad to report that the movie is…how can I put this…shit. The highlight was the dumbasses behind us who believed the announcer when she said she hoped that we all enjoy the 3 ½ hour lecture and slide show we were about to receive on the history of Hersheys. Firstly it is aimed at 5 year olds, secondly the show is every hour on the hour and thirdly it is no-eating and I am yet to meet an American that can go more than 20 minutes without a Taco Bell.

Dinner that night was a build your own salad from a local supermarket (I just love them as I can pile about $30 worth of mayo-based products into a box and legitimately claim I had a salad for dinner), a bottle of red, the Pittsburgh Steelers vs Dallas Cowboys game (I felt like we had to watch the game as we had seen the build-up for it in Pittsburgh for the previous 48 hours) and an early night.

Gettysburg tomorrow to learn about some scrap that the Northern Nancys had with the Southern Softies a couple of hundred years ago and then on to Philly for some Brazilian meat (the meal, not the stripper variety).