Friday, December 26, 2008

Day 51 - It's Christmas Day Innit

Author - Grant
Based In – Asheville (NC)
Notable Birthdays – Jesus

Today’s Photos - http://www.flickr.com/photos/32017704@N03/sets/72157611594866123/

We’re close to being so unexcited by Christmas morning that we have breakfast before opening presents…but we’re not quite there. I did, I admit, need the regenerating power of a cup of tea before the grand opening but then we were good to go. I’m pleased to say that Santa found us despite the lack of permanent address and that, as always, he was very good to me as I have a bunch of good reading to get through, a fine Paul Smith scarf, a Cadbury’s Selection Box (which, thankfully, I didn’t have to share as Kate bought herself one as well) and the obligatory Christmas jumper (that’s a sweater for you Americans). I’ve been holding back from buying some much needed socks for the past few weeks in the assumption that St Nick would bring me some as I am over 30 but I’ll now have to hit the January sales ASAP as my current stock are holier than the pope. I think Kate was happy enough with the pressies I got her although I’ll see how many of them are on e-Bay by the weekend to confirm that.

Breakfast was a rather elegant affair with toasted English muffins, poached eggs, hollandaise sauce and lemon smoked salmon. I think that’s called Norwegian Eggs Benedict but it might not be…whatever it’s called, it’s a fine way to start the day. With only one reason to leave the cottage today (Christmas lunch) and fours hours until that moment, we filled the void by sitting on our fat asses, calling family, putting a sizeable dent in the selection boxes and watching the two hour Christmas Special of The Office (the original English one). Is it wrong to admit that, despite having seen it half a dozen times, I still get a bit of a lump when Dawn comes back to the office party. I’m welling up just typing that. Football. Beer. Boobs. That’s better.

Lunch was at the magnificent Grove Park Inn which, it seemed, was hosting everyone in the northern hemisphere. The place is a labyrinth and parking caused a very un-Christmassy barney between us which I will hold up my hand and take the blame for starting. When we did finally find our restaurant (the grand ball room), there was a line of people fifty deep (which extended to about 150 later in the day) as the archaic check-in system (a stressed out old fella with a white board) was causing chaos. I’m pleased to say, however, that despite being just 50 feet (and yet 30 minutes) from food, I neither maimed nor killed anyone. Lunch was buffet style so, after being seated, we waited a polite 4 to 6 seconds before re-rising to attack the food. Is there a protocol about how long you are supposed to wait or does everyone just mess up their napkin and make a run for it? Anyway, the food was both plentiful and surprisingly good considering they were going to feed over two thousand people that day. Amongst the classics that you would expect on your Christmas plate, there were a few surprise dishes such as Shepherd’s Pie (did someone tell them the British were coming?) and mini-hamburgers (which I believe were also served at the last supper). Ninety minutes later I was disappointed that Santa hadn’t delivered me elastic pants.

In a pathetic attempt to aid digestion, we had a quick walk around the property and stumbled on the national gingerbread house competition winners. Impressive stuff but I could no longer hide the fact that one of my shoes had no heal and Kate looked close to sleep…after all she had been awake for over three consecutive hours by this point. So back to the cottage to make use of the lush outdoor hot-tub before being dragged into the neighbour’s place for a pint of Rum ‘N’ Egg Nog. They’re a great bunch and we caught them in the middle of some drama as their other neighbours had just been dragged to hospital as one half of the lesbian couple was about to give birth. It’s very cosmopolitan here in Asheville don’t you know. Their eldest daughter made me laugh with her exclamation that “it’s difficult for me to get excited about Christmas any more”. She’s 14 people!

The rest of the day is a bit of a blur but it involved getting home, drinking fairly heavily, having a magnificent platter of meats, cheeses and pate courtesy of Kate then passing out in front of the telly. I’m not sure Jesus would approve of the way we celebrated his birthday but we had a fine Christmas day nevertheless.

1 comment:

teddy said...

hamburgers and shepherds pie? they must have known dude....