EATING AMERICA DAY 1

Date : 5th November 2008
Miles Travelled : 248
States Passed Through : 3 (Connecticut, Rhode Island & Massachusetts) – if we continue this pace then the trip will be done in 17 days.
Poor Map Decisions by Kate (despite having GPS) : 1 major, numerous minor.
Paddies Thrown by Grant : 1 major, numerous minor (see above)
Skittles Count : 1 family pack
Number of Photos Taken by Kate : 742
Number of Keepers : 2

So, day one of Eating America finally got underway after a two week jaunt to Asia (I know, how greedy can we be with the holidays?) followed by 36 hours of recovery (of which Kate slept for 35.5 hours) in the gracious hospitality of Raquel & Ben in their Connecticut based mansion. So the plan for today was to head north and hit Cape Cod…the place most famous for kettle crisps…and something about a pilgrim landing. Needless to say there was much excitement in the car (a gigantic, blue, Dodge Grand Caravan with sexy stow ‘n’ go seats…the ladies go weak just at the sight of it) as we pulled away. Just to set the scene, the players in this saga (for those who have stumbled across this blog) are Grant (that’s me, all round athlete, Calvin Kline model candidate, volunteer fireman…the total opposite of a fat bald Englishman), Kate (my wife, clearly one of the luckiest ladies on the planet), Molly (the true love of my life, a 3 year old ginger mongrel), Bridget (the car designed for Irish Catholic families) and Holly (the GPS with the voice of the lesbian child of Rachael Ray and Mariella Frostrop). The aforementioned excitement lasted approximately 17 seconds as I made a comment about the incredible colours of the leaves (New England in the fall…wow), only to realise that both of my ginger ladies were asleep. A taste of things to come methinks.

Let’s not clog up this blog with dull tales of scenery, let’s just instead report that we failed to find Quahog in Rhode Island (the home town of the Griffin’s in Family Guy…the world’s funniest program) but did have some great clam chowder in the seaside resort of Newport. Despite being just 4:30pm, it was getting seriously dark by the time we got in Provincetown (the furthest most point in Cape Cod) so after checking into out very quaint cottage (named “Daisy Mae”), it was time to take a stroll though the high street which, our temporary landlord assured us, was “buzzing with activity”. 1) 97% of establishments have the sign “Thanks for a great season, see you in ‘09” in the window and 2) it turns out that Provincetown is the gay epicentre of New England and the local sweet shop is called the “Fudge Factory” and the bank is called “Seamen’s Bank”…and these aren’t made up; I have photo evidence. Finally a sandwich shop was found and a picnic for 7 people was purchased, brought back to the cottage and consumed by just two people. Needless to say, Kate is already asleep and it is just 7:25pm. If any representative of Tylonol PM is reading this, we are surely ideal candidates for sponsorship, no?

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s instalment of Cape Cod sightseeing. Good lord, even typing that was boring...