Day 75 - And Make It Snappy

Author - Grant
Based In – Naples, Florida
Why? – 30 Miles From The Everglades National Park

Today’s Photos - http://www.flickr.com/photos/32017704@N03/sets/72157612679392353/

This was a crazy day. Seriously insane. I don’t even want to build up to the punch line – you can just have it right from the start. In fact I wouldn’t even bother reading on; just flip through the photos and you’ll understand why it was nuts. We were literally a few feet from dozens and dozens of huge alligators for the majority of the day. This is no exaggeration and there was not a single safety barrier in sight – a surprising twist considering we are in the land of the law-suit for uneven manicures. I’m getting goose-bumps typing this – it was that mental.

I’ll gather myself together now and explain things a little more. It may sound a little weird to drive a 150 mile to do a 15 mile bike ride but we decided to adventure deeper into the Everglades than yesterday to see what we could see. Shark Valley Loop Road is half misleading as there aren’t any sharks but it is a loop and we had read that there was a good chance of spotting alligators here. What they failed to mention is that the 6 foot wide road would be literally strewn with sunbathing dinosaurs that made the ranger’s orders to never get closer than 15 feet to the alligators impossible to obey. And, trust me, I really wanted to obey them. These bad boys can grow up to 13 feet long although I would guess the biggest we saw was about 9 feet. The other piece of advice they give is to always hold on to children as they are about the right size for a gator snack. Something tells me I simply won’t take little Neville (the future name of my firstborn son) anywhere that he is a potential meal – surely that is responsible parenting? Anyway, they are a surprisingly sedate creature that are unlikely to attack unless provoked (unlike their croc cousins) but we didn’t want to test the theory. One guy looked like he did, however, when he skidded off the road into the outskirts of the river where, luckily, there was no hungry gator laying in wait. Shame as it would have been great to see one feeding in its natural environment. He was also lucky that none of this area’s 39 snakes (of which 4 are deadly) were in his path. Still, it was enough to get my heart racing well above 150 bpm so lord only knows what it did to his. Another heart-in-mouth moment was provided by a part of the path that was flanked by two gators on either side leaving a worryingly tight gap though which we had to squeeze. Kate’s average sped increased considerably at this point which accounts for the picture where she is quite far off in the distance. If only France were to line the streets with man-eating reptiles, she may stand a chance in next year’s Tour.

Next it was time to tick off something from the Lifelong Ambition list. Without Jennifer Anniston, Cameron Diaz or a tub of Nutella anywhere in sight, that ambition was going to have to be “Take An Air Boat Ride in The Everglades”. I think this desire originated from watching Gentle Ben as a kid but don’t let that dilute its importance. Whilst we saw nothing that we hadn’t already seen, twisting through the mangroves at high speed powered by a fan big enough to simulate twisters was a truly awesome experience. Our guide had some interesting views on nature (his answer to most questions was “shoot it”) and our co-riders (an old couple from Bath, England) were officially crazy but nothing could detract from the beauty of it all. Well, except for the guide’s story about the snake that fell in the boat from a tree last week…that I could have lived without. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.

So by this stage we had seen alligators on foot, by car, on bike and by boat. What other alligator related activity could we indulge in? Oh yes, we could eat them. Pinchers Crab Shack is in Tin City (Florida’s answer to the Maine Coast and surreally reminiscent of the early Jaws scenes) and specialises in Stone Crab Claws. Now I didn’t know this but Stone Crabs are a truly sustainable food source as, once removed, their claws actually grow back. Exactly how they feed themselves or wipe their ass during this hand-free time of life is more of a mystery but that’s not my problem. The crabs, served cold as tradition states, were excellent with especially tasty and juicy knuckles. But I’m purposefully leaving the appetizer to the end. As we heard earlier in the day, the tail of the alligator is “where the good eating is at” so we ordered some breaded, fried “gator nuggets” served with a spicy chipotle dipping mayo. It’s a cliché to describe any exotic meat as tasting like chicken but Kate accurately described the taste and texture of the juicy white meat as a cross between swordfish and…you guessed it…chicken. I was seriously impressed and would definitely have it again but it would be good to try a format other than the ubiquitous breaded and deep fried. Sashimi might be a step too far but I think a simply grilled seasoned fillet finished with lemon juice would stand up nicely.

Tomorrow we have a six hour drive to Key West where we’ll be taking life very easily indeed for at least four days. Oh, and Molly gets to run around again now that her two week exercise hiatus if over. Happy days all round.